Isaiah 35

Isaiah 35: The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad, the desert shall rejoice and blossom; like the crocus, it shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it, the majesty of Carmel and Sharon. They shall see the glory of the Lord, the majesty of our God. Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are of a fearful heart "Be strong, fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you." Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; then shall the lame man leap like a hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing for joy. For waters shall break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; the burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; the haunt of jackals shall become a swamp and the grass shall become reeds and rushes. And a highway shall be there and it shall be called the Holy Way; the unclean shall not pass over it and he is for them a wayfarer. No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come upon it; they shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there. And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

This has always been one of my favorite passages of Scripture. It has my name! It always seemed like a special promise, written to speak to my heart. I've spent ten years of my life working as a therapist/behavior specialist with kids from all walks of life with all sorts of problems. Helping the eyes of the blind open, the ears of the deaf hear, the lame leap, and the dumb sing seems to be my life's calling. Plus, my favorite daily devotional has been "Streams in the Desert" since college. However, recently, this verse took on new meaning for me.

I'll share a more in-depth background later, but here is an overview. My husband J and I met in early 2008 and were married in 2009. In 2011, after an entirely uneventful pregnancy, we welcomed our daughter, M. In 2014, we decided we were ready to add to our family and found out we were pregnant again in late August. On December 8, I went for a routine prenatal visit to hear the words every mother dreads. "I'm so sorry, there isn't a heartbeat." Two days later, our beloved son, Puff Warren Alexander, was born into the arms of the angels. In March of 2015, his brother, Luke Robert Alexander, met him in heaven after we suffered a miscarriage at 6 weeks pregnant. On October 16, 2015, we found out that a sister, Bunny May Alexander, would join our boys after a miscarriage at 8 weeks pregnant.

With Bunny, we may have found an answer, but right now we aren't sure. There were two large hemorrhages that inhibited growth and/or implantation. Basically, it was the early version of a placental abruption, from what I understand. The same thing may have been a factor with Luke, but it doesn't seem likely with Puff. We just aren't sure.

Why all that background? Well, you can probably guess that my plan for this blog is to chronicle our journey from this point. We are going to go back to the doctor for a follow-up visit on November 4, 2015 and will start testing as soon as we get the go-ahead from my doctor to see if we can find answers...and (we're praying) a fix so we can add another biological child to our family. I feel very much like a weary wayfarer, traveling on foot down a hard, dusty road filled with lions, jackals, and ravenous beasts. I feel (at times, anyway) as though I am traveling the road of grief blind, deaf, lame, and dumb. I also know that our dear family and friends are saying to us "Be strong, God will save you." And we believe He will. So this blog is to allow you to come on the journey with us. To find the redemption and rest promised to the wayfarer, to find the place of "joy and gladness, [where] sorrow and sighing shall flee away".