Just the Pregnancy Talking

Ok, I'm going to preface this post. I am 29 weeks and 2 days pregnant and I am definitely big. I compared my 28 week "belly bump" picture with Q to my picture from the same time with M and geez. It is insane. I looked closer to my 34 week picture with her. We know Q was measuring at least 11 days ahead, but  I don't really know for sure how big he is now. He may have slowed down some and let the weeks catch up some (which I doubt because of my size), he may hold steady at 11 days ahead, or he may have kept gaining days. But yes, I am huge. Yes, I am probably the same size now as some women when they go into labor, especially with their first child. Also, as I've mentioned before, Q is not only big, but he is active!

I am super grateful to be growing such a healthy, active boy. And if he stays healthy and active when he is born, that is fine with J and me! All the kicks are reassuring and knowing that he is ahead of schedule on his growth helps me feel more at ease, especially as his development becomes more and more about him gaining weight and size and less about him gaining necessary skills to survive in the outside world. I'm also kinda proud, because I haven't gained a ton of weight, despite how large I am.

End preface, start rant:: Y'all, having a large active baby can be darned uncomfortable! He kicks and rolls and pushes and I swear he is just going to "Alien" right out of my stomach one of these days and we still have 10+ weeks to go! It is daunting some days. My hips hurt, my abs (what is left of my abs anyway) hurt, though thankfully my back is ok. Sleeping is a challenge. Poor J has had to take over a lot of household tasks because I can't bend over well and getting up from sitting on our old sofa is a major challenge. I am super grateful and I wouldn't change it, but I have to be real. This pregnancy has been much more physically and emotionally draining than my pregnancy with M.

Also, we all know this, but strangers feel the need to comment on things that are none of their business. Yesterday, I had four...FOUR people comment on my size. Two asked if I'm having twins when they found out my due date isn't tomorrow. One neighbor called out "boy, you sure have that waddle going on" (REALLY???) and one asked "geez, is that baby ever going to come?" (nope, gonna cross my legs really tight and keep him there, because I enjoy being uncomfortable, sore, and subjected to comments from almost total strangers). One person was someone I just met not two minutes before he asked if I was having twins. Hadn't even told him I was pregnant. The other three are neighbors I've had conversations with, but I don't really *know* any of them well.

Y'all please. If you don't know if someone is pregnant, don't ever, ever, EVER ask. See this YouTube clip for the rule (sorry for the poor video quality). Brian Regan - When's That Baby Due? If you do know someone is pregnant, don't comment on her size and don't speculate about anything...gender, due date, multiples, etc. You don't know her story, you don't know what she's been through to get this baby. You don't know if she has had a loss and is experiencing gender disappointment. You don't know if she is having one of those days where she wonders if she'll make it to the due date this time and actually get to take her baby home in a car seat. You don't know if she struggled to conceive or had multiples but one died, so your off-handed remark about twins hits a sore spot. I'm assuming that, if you do know these things for sure, you know to keep your comments to yourself.

I am so proud of my big belly and my active son. For some reason, though, four people I barely know commenting in one day made me feel a little less bright, a little less happy, a little less proud. It was frustrating. The feeling was fleeting each time, don't worry. My doctor is happy with my growth and Q's. Both my ob/gyn and several MFMs have told me that Q's size is a good indicator of health. I know I'm pregnant. I know I'm big. I don't need comments to make me aware of those things. Part of me wanted to get either very sarcastic or very real with these people. "You try walking the dog with a baby this big growing off your front. It hurts sometimes, so waddle or not, I'm glad I can be active and do what is best for my baby and me." "No, it isn't twins, though what a blessing that would be, especially after we had three babies die in the pregnancies before this one." "Yes, he will be born eventually, but hopefully not stillborn early like his brother. Thankfully, we've passed the point of miscarriage like his other brother and one sister, but we know too well that we are never out of the woods. So we're hoping he comes happy and healthy as close to his due date as possible." I didn't say any of those things, though. I tried to be kind, though my frustration may have been obvious (I'm ok with that...). "No, it isn't twins. One boy, but he is measuring ahead and we are thankful he is healthy." "Yes, he'll be here when the time is right." The waddle comment just got a semi-forced laugh and a wave. Maybe one time, I'll snap and either cry or unload every ounce of stress from this pregnancy after loss. I hope not, because that poor person won't deserve it, not really. These people didn't deserve the answers my sarcastic nature and pregnancy hormones wanted to give, so I held it in. I'm glad I did, though others may disagree.

I'm asking you, dear reader...please consider your words before you speak them. If you wouldn't say them to a loved one who has had a loss, to someone who is sensitive, then just don't say them. There are plenty of things to say. "Congratulations!" "How wonderful!" "I'm so happy for you!" "If there's anything you need, let me know!" "How are you feeling?" "You look beautiful/glowing/healthy/happy." Other comments may not be as funny/helpful as you think and may in fact be quite hurtful.

End Rant:: So here I am, waddling down this road with my huge belly. Large, proud, and making it. Day by day, waddling step by waddling step, lol. Doing my best to keep my sarcasm directed at those who earn it and can handle it and my pregnancy hormones from making me even more insane than I already am. 10 weeks and 5 days left until due date, little man. Hang in there, not much time left before we meet face-to-face!